I'm Hermione Who?
by lalala24601
Summary: Head Girl Hermione Granger knows who she is, and knows who her parents were. Muggle, by birth and blood. So why does St. Mungo's insist that she's not as simple as she seems? HGDM, M for lang & eventual smut. Also, matchmaking courtesy of Hogwarts staff!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. That's just my dream.

"Ms. Granger, I have some interesting news and I feel rather certain you'll have questions. Would you like to come up to my office and discuss it over tea?" asked Professor McGonagall.

"Oh, of course, Headmistress. I had some questions for you about prefect schedules anyways," replied Head Girl Hermione Granger, following her beloved Head of House up the spiral stairs.

"Now, I'm certainly in agreement with your position on Divination, but you and I both know that there are a few prophecies which ought be heeded. I have yet to determine whether this one is or isn't, but I'm inclined to believe it's believable, as it coincides rather too perfectly with some other recent findings, dear," explained McGonagall patiently. "Just give me a moment to put the kettle on, and I'll show you."

Rather confused, Hermione sat down on the mauve and gold _chaise lounge_. "Professor, I'm afraid I don't quite follow you."

Sitting down opposite Hermione on the loveseat across the tea table, McGonagall took a deep breath. "After your parents were murdered, we sent the bodies to St. Mungo's for magical autopsies. We checked for all the routine things, and because they'd been Crucio'd, on top of some post-mortem contusions found induced by some Muggle kitchen tools, did some blood tests. Now, that's where things got interesting.

"We compared your parents' blood to the blood withdrawn from similarly treated Muggles. However, the tests revealed radiation exposure levels that were not alarmingly high, but high enough to warrant a more thorough examination. When they consulted Dumbledore's portrait, he recommended they compare with your old blood samples, from both here and Mungo's, to ensure your exposure wasn't high enough to be a health risk. But we ran for everything we could think of, just to be sure. No one told you, because we didn't think it necessary. However, as these tests take time, we've only just started getting results back.

Your radiation exposure levels are fine, rather lower than what we had anticipated, which is excellent. However, it would seem there's been some incredibly complex magic cast on you…oh, there's the kettle. Just a minute, child."

_What could this mean? _Hermione wondered. _Am I ill? Terminal disease, perhaps? Or maybe it's something more Dark. Could it be that I'm something that's prophecied to hurt Harry? Oh, no, I couldn't possibly bear that…hmm. Maybe it's something else, like-_

"Hermione, dear. Stop worrying, I can see the thoughts spinning in your head. Cream or sugar for your tea?"

"Both, please, Headmistress."

As Hermione leaned across the frosted glass table to reach her teacup, her curiosity began to get the better of her.

"Here you go, dear."

"Thank you, Professor. Professor, I don't mean to be rude, but could you please tell me what the Mungo's staff found?"

"Yes, yes, I'm about to. Essentially, they're concerned that their spells triggered an automatic database search which seems to connect you to the Potter, Black, Gaunt, and Selwyn families, among others: namely, all four founders' families. Now, as nearly all of these families have died out, combined with the fact that this triggering has never happened before, the staff was quite puzzled. But they think that, though your mother certainly gave birth to you, your genetics have been modified at various points in your life, beginning with the moment of your conception."

"I don't understand this. Not at all! I'm the spitting image of my parents, and I'm prone to all the same diseases they are, have the same blood type…what could possibly have happened to me? Professor?"

"Hermione, I can't say I understand it any more than you do. But St. Mungo's owled me this just a few minutes before I went to fetch you, and I haven't opened it yet. It's all their preliminary findings on your conundrum, as well as the reports from autopsy on your parents. Here, go through it. And, should you ever need to discuss things, know that I as well as the other staff, are always more than willing to listen. Take your time, and be sure to owl back to St. Mungo's any questions you may have. They're most excited about your situation, you know, and really quite prepared to provide answers to your questions if they have any, after your assistance there during the chaos following the Last Battle?"

_This is ridiculous! These files are huge, and I'm hardly a Healer. What am I supposed to do? Well, there's always the library, I suppose…._

"Certainly, Professor," replied Hermione, taking the files from her favorite teacher. "Thanks for the tea. And do you want me to leave the prefect schedules on your desk to review?"

"That'll be fine, dear. Get some rest, and be sure you're ready for the term to begin and welcome all the students in two weeks' time." And with that, Hermione was dismissed.

_There's no time like the present to begin, and Merlin knows I've long since finished every assignment due at the start of term…._

So off she went, back to the Heads' Common Room, files in hand.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or any of the characters. **

**THIS CHAPTER IS HERMIONE POV**

"Hey Granger," called Draco Malfoy.

As I enter the Heads' common room, I realize he's shirtless. And he's seriously hot.

_Well, I guess if he's gonna be civil, I can too. Wow, he's changed this summer. I cannot believe how attractive he is, and would you look at those abs?_

"Malfoy, what's up?" I replied as I came through the portrait. Not a bad start, considering.

"D'you have a minute? I thought we might have a bit of a talk, you know, if you're not busy with…all those files?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at the large stack of files in my arms. "Here, let me help you," he said, getting up off the couch and placing the files on the coffee table on my side of the room.

"Thanks. And sure, Malfoy. Give me two minutes to change, it's roasting in here," I called over my shoulder as I swept past him and into my room.

_I really ought to unpack, I've been back for nearly eight hours and my trucks are cluttering up all my lovely space._

With a few quick swishes of my wand, I sent my clothes soaring into the fantastic walk-in closet, my books flying onto the amazing shelves, and all my personal touches set just the way I wanted them.

_I've never had so much space in my whole life. Wow, what a beautiful room,_ I thought as I flopped onto my huge California King bed, complete with silver and grey chiffon curtains over the four posters. As I fingered the silken embroidery on my charcoal duvet cover, I realized Malfoy was waiting for me in the common room.

Jumping up, I quickly pulled a white spaghetti-strapped tank top and deep purple cotton short-shorts. I snatched my iPod Touch and brand-new white Beats headphones, loving that charm I came up with last summer that allowed my Muggle tech to use solar power and still operate within the castle. Popping my cell phone into my pocket, I pulled off my extra hair ties and put them neatly on the back of my doorknob. Kicking off my heeled Mary-Janes, I tore off my socks, threw my hair into a messy bun, and wandered back to Malfoy.

"Okay, so, what's going on? What'd you wanna talk about?" I asked Malfoy, trying not to ogle his body as he finished a set of handstand push-ups.

And as he landed his handstand and noticed my not-so-subtle staring, he merely smirked and said, "I want us to get along this year, Granger. I was a prick for acting the way I did, these past years. I had no right to call you all those awful names, and I just, feel really terrible about it, okay? I understand if you still want to hate me and everything, but I really hope we can be friends. Not just civil, actually talk, and value each other and stuff. Plus, that'd be a major benefit in planning stuff for the school, right? And I'm completely excited about this year, we're graduating in 9 months!" He stumbled a bit over his words, obviously rather awkward about this whole thing.

I couldn't resist taking a little dig at him.

"Was this your first apology, Malfoy?" I asked with a smile, just to show I wasn't being malicious.

"Yes," he replied abashedly. "But I'm going to be doing a lot of apologizing this year, and I have more than enough to apologize for, you know?"

"Malfoy, chill. It's okay, I forgive you. I'm a Gryffindor, it's what we do. Besides, I happen to completely agree with you."

He finally looked up from the floor, and stared at me like I was Fluffy the three-headed dog. "Granger, you're serious?"

"Hell yeah I am. I am not about to make my life more complicated by making our relationship awkward, and, as you mentioned, we have nine months. We should be friends. We're living together, and Heads together, plus I'm valedictorian and you're the salutatorian. We have a lot of time together this year…and we can totally represent House Unity for Hogwarts this year. You know, we're House Royalty. If anyone can do this, we can. So Malfoy, I suppose I'm taking this a bit further than you intended, but what do you think?

"I'm sure we're going to get along just fine, because I've thought about everything you just mentioned and I agree. I didn't realize you were this easy to get along with, Granger. Oh, and if we're friends, call me Draco."

He smiled, looking at me. _I could totally get used to this, living with him and his gorgeous body._

"Fair's fair, Malf-Draco. If I call you by your first name, you call me by mine."

"Okay, Hermione. Umm. This is a bit awkward for me. You know, I've never had to make friends before."

_He's got to be joking. I'm hardly an expert…I was a dork and outcast for years, and really, still am. Oh Merlin. _

"Malfoy, I can't say I know exactly how we're supposed to act as former enemies now truced and forging a friendship, but I think if we just try to get along and get to know each other, we'll be fine."

"So, like restarting, then? Okay. Hello. I'm Draco Malfoy, I'm seventeen. I enjoy Quidditch, and play Seeker and am Captain for Slytherin this year. I'm also Head Boy, and my favorite subject is Potions. My parents are Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy; the first is deceased, and thank Salazaar, as he was a bigoted prick and a worthless father. The latter is my beloved mother, who requires constant care after being Imperiused for six years. My favorite books are a tie between _Hogwarts: A History_ and J.R.R. Tolkein's _Lord of the Rings_ prequel, _The Hobbit_. Your turn, Hermione."

_Okay. That was a lot of information…and really? The pureblood extraordinaire enjoys classic Muggle literature? Wow. Umm._

I'm fidgeting, I know that. My hands keep fussing with the flyaways from that horrible-looking bun. I pull it out, and take a deep breath.

"Alright. Hello, I'm Hermione Granger, I'm also seventeen. I am Head Girl, and my favorite subjects are Charms and Transfiguration. My parents are both deceased; they were killed during the war. I was fostered by my aunt, my mother's twin, for the six months before I became of age. As far as favorite book, _Hogwarts: A History_ is classic, but my two others are _A Thousand Splendid Suns_ by Khaled Hosseini, and _Girl with the Dragon Tattoo,_ by Steig Larsson; both Muggle."

He smirks. He does that a lot. _How can that be so attractive? _

"Really? I prefer _The Kite Runner._ And I'm surprised by your statement," he says.

Okay, slow down. _He knows what other books Hosseini has written?_

"I did too…until I reread it, after I found my grandmother's diary. She was raped; after that, I felt such a strong connection to Miriam and Laila," I explained. "And what did you mean by my 'statement'?"

He smiles, but I know he's holding in a smirk.

"Just that Larsson isn't a Muggle. And any witch who reads his book will have a dragon tattoo, so you have one and don't even know it."


End file.
